Watch for trends and as soon as a new one starts, jump on board. It
doesn’t matter whether or not the trend appeals to you, just that you
follow it as soon as possible, since you must be on the cutting edge. Be
the first to read the latest self help book and waste no time in
telling everyone how life changing it is, of course always with an ear
to the ground for the next book. Be sure to belittle and condescending
to those who don’t share your beliefs, even if you aren’t sure what those beliefs
are this week, since you know in your heart of hearts they really
are against you and will pull you down if given the chance. Become the
master of the backhanded compliment, point out the faults of absent
“friends” or anyone perceived as successful since your
wit demands to be shared and appreciated and you are providing a valuable service. Always have the answer, never
mind those pesky details or facts. And above all crow endlessly on your
ability to always get the best price. Let your pride shine brightly when
recounting how you always get the best deal, how you are a master of
the cheap. Keep up appearances regardless the cost, stand proudly on your
dignity because clearly you are the master of your life, having all the
answers, no spiritual assistance needed or required.
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