How To Be Unhappy

Reflect morbidly. Worry about everything. Tell yourself that time is running out and you aren’t getting any younger. Reflect on all those times you zigged when you should have zagged. Visualize all the people who have ever mistreated you and relive the experience. Worry about your health. Go on-line and search medical databases to diagnose  any ache or pain you have and what it might be a symptom of. Money. Have some? Will it be enough, will it last, what if some crook in a suit finds a way to steal it? Don’t have much? How will you get more? What if you don’t? Whatever your financial condition, dwell on all the possible negative outcomes. In short, think about yourself, relentlessly. Do not let any thoughts of God or good dissuade you from your mission and you are sure to be successful at being unhappy.