Peace of Spirit

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future” Fulton Oursler. When in the grip of fear, it convinces us a ravenous beast is waiting around the next corner to attack and rend us asunder, our peace of spirit sacrificed. So we tremble and attempt to hide, all the while depression slowly squeezes the life out of us, freezing us in inaction. Fear is a liar, but it is an implacable foe, an adversary beyond our ability to defeat alone. The adversary never sleeps, is always vigilant, waiting personified; cunning, baffling and powerful and though we may rally and occasionally win a battle, the outcome of the war is never in doubt when we rely solely upon our limited resources when battling fear.

Regret opens the door to morbid reflection. When we reflect morbidly lament and depression become our traveling companions, forgiveness in grace replaced with self-centered fear driven negative introspection. The adversary never sees the future brightly with hope, but always dark and hopeless, stealing the moments of peace and serenity that are ours by birthright. 

Living on the Spiritual Basis we rely on the Creative Life Force at the heart of everything for our strength. In so doing we face fear with faith, which enables us to meet seeming calamity with serenity, in action, in purpose, grace realized, the thieves barred entry into our consciousness and we are free, our natural peace of spirit realized.  

Zen, Wayne Dyer, The Secret, ODAAT, Law Of Attraction, Language Of The Heart, Golden Key, Alanon, How To Be Happy

The Adversary's Thousand Faces

No one but you and God truly know what is in your heart, nor can we ever truly know what is in the heart of another, for only God has that ability. We come to know the issues of someone’s heart by their actions, demonstrations, not their words. One of the most misunderstood teachings in the Christ message is on judgment. It is not that we are to avoid being judgmental, for that is impossible. In fact, we are instructed to employ righteous judgment, to judge based on action, not on words. However, we cannot judge rightly if our own house is not in order.

To put our house in order we take an honest, fearless and thorough inventory of our life. We identify the things that have been blocking us from fully accepting God’s love and guidance. Once we have done this we find they are all fear based in one manner or another, for the adversary, fear, has a thousand faces. We risk our serenity when we pass judgment on someone else while our actions may be just as bad or even worse. We clean up our actions, our side of the street first, sharpening our vision, and then we can speak to our brothers’ difficulties, if asked. Seeing the pitfalls and roadblocks in someone’s path is none of our business unless we are asked, for Living on the Spiritual Basis requires we never answer the unasked question. We practice patience and prayer, standing ready to go to any lengths to be of service when called, remembering that although we have great power in changing ourselves, by our reliance on God in all things, we have little power in changing others since their desire, just as ours, must come from within.


Zen, Wayne Dyer, The Secret, Road Less Traveled, Power of Intention, Golden Key, Emmet Fox, ACIM, 

Dusting And Serenity

Everyone likes a clean house, but who enjoys doing the cleaning. In the physical realm a little dust on the shelves, a cobweb or two high in a corner or a carpet that could use a visit from the vacuum are one thing, but of much greater importance is our spiritual housekeeping. When we allow negatives to accumulate in our consciousness the consequences are dire. A glass breaks, an egg slips our grasp, the new kitten or puppy has an “accident" are all things we address immediately, in much the same way we get busy spiritually on the big problems of life. But just like the upper shelf that could use a dusting or the baseboard that could stand a little scrubbing, we put off addressing or entirely ignore life's little hurts and small fears and they accumulate in the quiet corners of our consciousness. Left unattended they nibble away at our serenity, our peace of mind slips allowing the adversary, fear, to gain purchase in the forefront of our consciousness, coloring every aspect of our lives.

Spiritually we must keep our house clean for the adversary is relentless. Where a dusty shelf or a floor that could use a good sweeping may be distractions, small resentments and disregarded fears left to fester in our spiritual house have real power. So we address them as soon as they crop up, as we become aware of them, and do not under any circumstance or pretext put off our cleaning. By employing daily prayer, taking responsibility for our actions and admitting when we are wrong, employing daily meditation and selfless service the corners of our consciousness are liberated from the spiritually corrosive effects of the adversary and we remain free, serenity at play, peace of mind immanent.

Demetrius And Diana

The silversmith Demetrius made his living off making shrines to the goddess Diana. When the apostle Paul brought the Christ message to his town many began turning away from worshiping the goddess. Demetrius and his fellow businessmen found their livelihood at stake, for without Diana worship they were out of business, so he and his fellow craftsmen began shouting “Great is Diana” in an attempt to stem the tide embracing the new path. They took this action not out of any real spiritual belief, but belief in their pocketbooks, motivated by fear, not faith.

Trusting in God is simple but not easy. We are consistently bombarded by hand-wringers and fear spreaders at every turn, the one thing they all share is the secular basis of living, not the spiritual. The silversmiths didn’t really trust Diana to deliver them, if they did they would have quietly prayed to her and trusted, so they they had to take matters into their own hands, trusting secular action over faith based demonstration. 

The promise of Living on the Spiritual Basis is by trusting and relying on the one true source, God, all questions of living will be answered and we will be provided with everything we need to grow and prosper. God is either everything or else He is nothing, what is our choice to be?  So to be truly free, we must be about God’s business, demonstrating the infinite over the finite and resist the fear based urge to shout our version of "Great is Diana."

Two Graves

       When we take offense at every trifling thing in life, becoming angry and outraged at clerks, customer service reps, waiters and waitresses, thoughtless drivers, oblivious sidewalk strollers or any of the other myriad daily annoyances that we come into contact with, we place ourselves in danger. Additionally when a friend, co-worker, loved one or family member fails to live up to “our” expectations and we demonstrate displeasure/anger towards them, we place ourselves at risk.

     So the real question is: At what price peace of mind? Is your serenity worth losing over slow service, waiting on hold, a poor lane change, parking ticket, an inconsequential bump, the blocking of a sidewalk, some failed expectation, hurt feeling or news report? Recently a man lost his life leaving a baseball game over a verbal slight on the ramp leading to the exit, a “trifle” in hindsight, a tragedy for all concerned in reality. Revenge, getting even, wishing to punish others, resentment and condemnation under any guise are all dangerous paths leading only to strife and suffering, blocking us from the source.

       So we must become slow to anger, to ask if the cause is “just” in spiritual light. When we do this, we soon find the just causes of anger are few indeed. Consider law enforcement, over ninety percent of the officers will never remove their weapon from its holster except at the firing range, but if circumstances warrant they can and will employ deadly force, with all the attendant consequences the decision carries. So just as with those charged with enforcing secular law, if presented with “just” cause we must be willing to act, but we must direct our anger at the sin, praying for the sinner and those affected by the act, seeking ways to be of service to all who suffer.

       It would be taking the easy way out to end this piece without attempting to describe a “just” cause of anger. Just cause can be somewhat personal, but I think there are some we can agree on: Any innocent’s death at the hand of a tyrant, for profit or as a result of an alcohol or drug impaired individual. A child exploited for any reason. A companies or corporations callus disregard of health and/or safety concerns for the sake of profit. Leaders who only are concerned for themselves and not those they have been charged to represent. Chances are, unlike law enforcement, in most cases we will be powerless to act directly in any secular sense, but we can always act spiritually, keeping our anger in check, focusing on the solution rather than the cause.

     So on those occasions when just cause enters our consciousness we must immediately turn to God seeking guidance and intuition, the correct course of action, for if we choose to take matters into our own hands we place ourselves in danger. If we fail to seek God first, it becomes revenge and when seeking revenge we begin by first digging two graves.

Meek As Moses?

It is difficult for me to think of Moses and not picture in my minds eye Charlton Heston standing with arms raised, staff in hand, robes flowing, hair and beard blowing in the wind exhorting the Red Sea to part. Not exactly the secular definition of meek. Yet Moses is the epitome of Meek. To be meek spiritually means we have abandoned our old ways of thinking and living and have placed our feet solidly on the path of enlightenment, embracing Living on the Spiritual Basis. In this light we pray we stay the course, one day at a time, so in time we truly become “as meek as Moses.”

There Be Dragons

On the old maps when the mapmaker reached the end of what was known they would often write in the margin “There Be Dragons” to denote the unknown along the edges of the known, fear inculcated as fact. Being a metaphysician, I find that margin note quite appropriate when embarking on any attempt to teach spiritual truth and principles. With over 1000 different Christian Churches, Islam with over a billion followers and radical disagreement among its adherents to the interpretation of the prophet’s words, Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism and God only knows how many other religions big and small believing in all manner of things, many of whom claiming they are the only, one true path or church, the appearance of dragons on this subject is guaranteed.  

 So, in order to continue, I need to fly my flag: I am a First Century or red letter Christian. In many bibles the words attributed to Jesus are in red, so my faith begins with those words, everything else filtered through them. I do not believe there is a need for anyone to “interpret” the Christ teaching for us since we are asked by the Great Carpenter to read with inner light, the spark of the Divine that is within all, regardless of station in life or current circumstances. Of course we should stay open to all teachers; the mistake is when we make them “sacred cows”, placed on a metaphysical pedestal, beyond question or error. As the Buddha teaches: “Embrace nothing: If you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha... Only live your life as it is, Not bound to anything.”
      
To be very clear: we will have many teachers in the course of our existence. We learn from them, but always hold to the truth that in God’s eyes all are equal, student and teacher, and when you are called on to teach, and you will be, rejoice. All that is required to become enlightened is an open mind and heart, coupled with a willingness to serve a greater destiny than our limited (secular) imaginations can conceive. So, listen to opposing viewpoints and engage in constructive dialog where appropriate (be very wary of dragons here and never argue with a closed mind, leave them gently with a silent prayer, for this is how we kill the Buddha) and filter everything through Spiritual Truth, as you understand it. If you’re not quite sure what your spiritual truth is, I’m sure there is a book around here somewhere with some red words in it, as fine a place to start as can be found. Checking my six for dragons.

Settled Science And Sacred Cows

             Have you an open mind?  In the course of teaching metaphysics this question is often met with incredulity, a brusque “of course.” It is in the secret place of our heart where this query truly lurks. On important social issues, we must spend equal time studying both sides, to the point that we can intelligently argue either side if we wish to be truly informed. If we choose not to do this out of laziness we then form our opinions based on emotion and snippets of unverified information gleaned from a variety of sources lacking any systematic or logical course of study.

         In the 1970’s I was a member of the Futurist Society. Futurists predict the future based on what is deemed the best verifiable evidence extrapolated logically. I accepted their pronouncements at face value, since they had studied and researched the issues (I believed) at depth. I looked forward to the arrival of each issue for one particular writer whose articles were always well written and interesting. The new issue arrived and I attempted to read some of the other articles first, a little delayed gratification, but soon turned to my favorite author. With a smile on my face I began reading. When finished I felt a bit unsettled. I couldn’t put my finger on it but something was lurking in the back of my mind. So after about a week I went to the library to do some research. Firing up the microfiche (remember microfiche and cabinets filled with microfilm) I located the statistics I was looking for and there was the problem. The author had reversed the stats that supported his position! I felt relieved and a little proud. I reasoned that some underling had provided the stats to the author incorrectly and a correction would be forth coming. The next issue arrived however and nothing was mentioned. I surmised that by the time he became aware it was too late for this issue but would certainly be in the next. Well, did he ever address it in the next issue. The response was one of the most over the top, vitriolic pieces of junk I, to this day, have ever read. Not only did he defend his position and facts, anyone who disagreed with him was an idiot! I was left stunned and breathless. I rechecked the stats to see if I misread them. Nope. A sacred cow died that day.

        Spiritually, sacred cows are everywhere. Many are inherited, some have quietly strolled in and we have not bothered to do the work to turn them out, usually because if we do we are afraid of what we will find when they are gone, since sacred cows are notoriously poor house keepers. Living on the Spiritual Basis we must not be afraid to ask questions and seek the truth, since: the truth will set you free. Trust, but verify.

        I didn’t renew my membership in the Futurists Society. Looking back, one of their predictions for 2000 (then 25 years in the future) was, that if we didn’t act immediately the world was about to be plunged into a new ice age, one that we instigated. Beyond doubt. Settled science. All the top climatologists said so. Hmmm...

A Feather Stronger Than Steel

When we harbor resentment, we slowly die spiritually. Fortunately through forgiveness we are reborn. Nurturing resentment binds us to the object of our ire by a mental chain stronger than steel. Holding on to resentment is akin having a wound that never heals. Every time it begins to heal we scratch at it until it bleeds again, reliving the source of the injury in graphic detail to any who will listen, even if we are only talking to ourselves. This manner of thinking is slow insidious spiritual suicide; we must turn away from our hurts and allow them to heal. How? We decide finally and forever to forgive, with God’s help, the cause of the resentment by naming them and asking God to do for them everything good that we wish to have happen in our life. Visualize them receiving God’s grace, His peace upon them. In time a scar will form but resentments are tenacious and our subconscious will whisper that perhaps we should scratch at it again, just in case. Do not react negatively when these thoughts surface, but do turn in prayer immediately and thank God for knowing Him better, that you and the author of the resentment are free. Do not for a moment rehash the memory of the hurt; focus only on seeing the Presence of God where the hurt was. Having just begun incorporating this new way of thinking into our life we do not berate ourselves when we discover we have drifted into morbid reflection examining an old scar, instead we quietly turn to God in prayer thanking Him for knowing Him better, eventually this will become second nature. As with all things spiritual (and all life as well) condemnation stunts growth, so we are always gentle in prayer, especially with ourselves, praying with a “feather.”

Mental Muscle

“We have ceased fighting everything and everyone, we have to” unlike physical exercise, where working harder typically produces greater results, the converse is true mentally. The reason for this is that God does the work, not our mental “muscle.” No amount of will power has ever added a single ounce of lasting spiritual weight to anyone. We don’t “work” on our problems or difficulties for we have turned our will and our lives completely over to the care of God. Having chosen to live on the Spiritual Basis we know today that God is the doer. Not us. So we pray when prayer is indicated, meditate regularly and serve where and when possible. We turn to Him who has all knowledge and power when filled with fear and doubt and demonstrate in faith, we relax for “all mental working should be relaxed, gentle, and unhurried for effort defeats itself.”

Concerning Fear, a Suggestion

The term “reborn” has been employed poorly if not down right incorrectly so often that its true spiritual meaning has become obscured. Living on the Spiritual Basis we now see that all external happenings are but passing shadows of no permanent importance. We have come to hold in our heart of hearts that to dwell in the Presence of Divine light and knowledge as the only true escape from our “enemies” (negative thinking/morbid reflection) and “foes” (fear and doubt of every stripe). When our consciousness rises to this level, we carry the message of His love and guidance into all our affairs, responding to all seeming trouble with “my heart shall not fear, thy will be done” and we are free, We are reborn in Spirit. With this spiritual key in hand, understanding who our true foes and enemies are, now would be an appropriate time to visit the 27th Psalm, just a suggestion.

The Truth About Fear

 “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” When FDR said this in his first inaugural address America was in the grip of the great depression and great clouds of dust howled over the central plains displacing millions. What FDR knew is that fear is paralyzing. Whether you agree with the political course FDR set this country on is immaterial, the critical point is that as a leader he understood the power of fear. Living on the Spiritual Basis we confront fear where it lives, in our consciousness. Fear brings darkness to our thoughts, an actual feeling of constriction in the chest, as if life is being squeezed from us, the sense of impending doom attempting to overpower. Fear is a liar. To be crystal clear: everyone dies of something; the flesh we inhabit will one day fail. Money comes and money goes. Jobs end and begin. We may fall out of love or someone we love may fall out of love with us. Accidents happen. The choice is ours as to how we handle the inevitable twists and turns of life. Do we cower in fear, paralyzed in inaction or step out in faith, demonstrating reliance on a power greater than ourselves?

Freedom comes when we turn in all things to Him who has all knowledge and power, who brings the light banishing the darkness of fear, providing the keys to the kingdom, replacing the dread surrounding our heart with the surety of salvation, enabling us to meet perceived calamity with poise and serenity, putting the truth to fears lie. How is this accomplished? By choosing consistent prayer, meditation and service work in the face of the stultifying fear. Our greatest gift is free will; out of free will we choose to create. Whether it is a new recipe, scientific theorem, musical composition, play or novel, we make the choice to create, each day we choose which path we walk, darkness or light, bondage in self or salvation. The choice is always ours.

Given, Freely

One of the ways we demonstrate our spiritual fitness is by how much we give, freely, not only in riches but most importantly of ourselves. Consider for a moment the disheveled fellow with the cardboard sign seeking money for “food.” True, he may in fact not use the money for food as we would define it, but does that mean his need is any less real? A dollar, wrapped in silent prayer, saluting the Divine within, provides more relief, opens more pathways of heart, than can be experienced with human eyes.

All reap as they sow; by giving with joy, never out of grudging obligation or with strings attached for that defeats divine purpose; serenity and peace with intention are the harvest. In hard economic times perhaps monetary tithing is not possible, but everyone has something to give. If you have little money, ask in prayer to be shown how to best be of service, tithing the gift of your time and/or expertise to those who need your gift. We are greater and more valuable than our fear driven carnal mind often allows or accepts, remember, you are a child of the Divine, directly connected in truth to Our Father.

So whether our pocket book is thin or not, a genuine smile accompanied by eye contact and a kind word to those suffering, acknowledging them, is a tithe that multiplies itself in ever widening circles, helping to release them, and ourselves, from the bondage of self, a simple confirmation of our relationship with the Miraculous.

Fool's Gold and 6 Pack Abs

Rarely does a week pass without some new self help book/seminar that will solve all our problems, the diet to end all diets, miracle food/supplement, piece of revolutionary exercise equipment that will provide the perfect body IN ONLY 20 MINUTES 3 TIMES A WEEK! appears. Admit it; just like me, you have been tempted. But will drinking some berry juice really change my life or a three-day seminar addressing all of life’s questions the answer and who wouldn’t want a flat sexy tummy or buns of steel, IN ONLY 20 MINUTES! Like a wise man once said: if it sounds too good to be true, it is.

Salesmen and marketing executives peddle fool’s gold to separate us from our money, that's their job but unlike banking on that unrealistic shortcut to six-pack abs, Living on the Spiritual Basis provides a pearl beyond price for it is the shortest road to the peace and sense of true freedom each of us crave deep down. “Simple but not easy, a price has to be paid.” That price is the surrender of self and our focus on selfish things. When we shift our focus to the sense of the Presence of God within, where true gold is found, we begin to experience the Truth of Being, finding our true place in the fabric of the miraculous. Perhaps I am too cynical and ultimate awakening or abs of steel are just a credit card and a phone call away, operators are standing by, but as the old prospector remarked to the greenhorn about fool’s gold: “When you think you have found gold you probably have not; but when you do find it, you will know it for certain.”

Poking Tigers in the Eye

In the second act of my life I made my living swinging a hammer. The man who sponsored me to become a contractor taught “When the workday is over stop working.” Seemed pretty simple if not downright painfully obvious then. Kinda like never poke a tiger in the eye with your finger. In time, however, I began to understand what he was really talking about. Working in construction there is always some little task that needs doing. I learned, through painful experience, that once I stopped working for the day, having removed my tool belt and bags, not to put them back on. On more than one occasion, unfortunately, I spied a crooked nail, loose board or some other small task that could have easily waited until the next day, choosing to address it before going home. Right after the hammer slipped and smacked me on the shin or I hit the nail and heard the unmistakable sound of water rushing from a pierced pipe or missed the nail on the wall but hit the one on my thumb instead, I would then remember, belatedly, what he had said. But most importantly I became aware that most days long after I had physically left the job site I was still there in my mind, needlessly rehashing the days events or worrying about things that where God’s business, not mine. Emmet Fox refers to this as “taking the train” mentally. Living on the Spiritual Basis leads to effective mental activity and relaxation. As Dr Fox teaches, “don’t take the train mentally-let the engine (God) take it.” So “when the workday is over stop working” oh, and never poke a tiger in the eye with your finger.

Thimble or Tardis?

Living in Southern California one of the joys of life is driving down Pacific Coast Highway. Watching pelicans dive for their dinner, dolphins surfing for pure enjoyment and some pretty spectacular sunsets part of the joy. Often when I look out over the Pacific I am struck by its abundance and diversity, its scale and depth beyond my limited comprehension.

Yet Divine abundance dwarfs all oceans combined in size and scope. The only limits to our inheritance, God’s abundance, are the arbitrary limits we impose out of false belief and fear. We set the limit of our capacity to receive. We choose the size of vessel that holds His abundance in our lives, be it a thimble or Dr. Who's infinitely large Tardis. When we embrace the Spiritual Basis of Living our capacity increases in direct proportion to the trust and reliance we place in God and reject the false belief (fear) the secular world imposes that we live in a finite world of dwindling supply, limited abundance. There is only one source of everything, God, and His promise is that of limitless supply and endless abundance, not only in the Spiritual realm but the physical as well.

What, Me Worry?

Remember Alfred E. Newman of Mad magazine fame? His gap toothed grin gracing every cover with the caption “What, me worry?” Alfred can be oblivious, but what of the dozens of things that tug at us daily? My children are all adults but I still worry about them. When one of the cats strolls outside I worry about them (don’t start, I have I tried to keep them in but they are all strays who adopted us and when they want to go out THEY WANT TO GO OUT). In low moments I worry that somehow I have strayed down the wrong path in my life and won’t find my way back.

Today when worry creeps into my thoughts I turn to God as close to immediately as I can. When the World worries me I remember “The Captain is on the Bridge.” My children, gifts from God, so when I fear for them I ask God to do for them what they cannot do for themselves and to give me the strength to do what He would have me do in their lives, and not meddle. I don’t care what anyone says, letting your children make their own mistakes so they can grow just as we had to requires a lot of prayer. Cats? Well if you have cats you understand and if you are a dog person you aren’t supposed to get it and that’s not a bad thing. It’s not that you care any less for your dog but cats just assume you understand about their divinity. And when I begin to worry I have stumbled and lost my way I remember the truth:

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.” 

So I guess Alfred had it right all along. Nuff said.

God And Small Things

Sometime ago during a genial conversation on spiritual principles a participant tossed out the comment  “I don’t trouble God with the little things, he’s much too busy.” This was said in all earnestness but little understanding of what Living on the Spiritual Basis entails. There are no “small” things to God. Everything interests God. Everything. Nothing in our lives is beneath His concern or healing. Tennyson wrote, “He is closer than hands and feet, closer than breath” which is most close indeed and Emmet Fox stated “God is always present; always ready to heal, to comfort, to inspire.” No barriers or arbitrary lines in the sand exist dealing with God’s level of involvement or commitment in our life. He is within, right here, right now, seeking expression in every area of our lives, from the maximal to the minimal, big deals and little deals, if we are willing to step out in faith and trust. Arguably the most powerful prayer in the Bible is “Be still, and know that I am God” the knowing within, available 24/7. So we don’t concern ourselves with trying to sort out what is appropriate for God’s attention, instead we place everything in His hands, trusting in the infinite rather than the finite for solution and resolution.

Taking A Trip, Not Taking A Trip

When we travel down the road of indignation, self-righteousness, fear, hateful and/or angry words and thoughts we invariably find ourselves embracing morbid reflection, leaving us holding a cup of spiritual distress for we always reap as we sow. Few situations in life are ever strictly black and white. When we condemn others we attempt, but fail, to overwrite the truth that there is a little bit of good in the worst of us and a little bit of bad in the best, no one is without sin, none of us live life error free. Remember “Living life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning to play the instrument as we go along” naked, so cut them and yourself a little slack.

So when you find yourself in morbid reflection-ville, and we all do from time to time, gently turn around in prayer and head back out of town by recognizing the Presence of God where the disharmony, negativity resides; asking in meditation to be shown the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and love, saluting the Divine Spark that resides within every one of our Father’s children.

It would be easy to end here, but an additional point needs to be made. We can and in truth must salute the Divine within all, but this does not mean we must continue to associate with or place ourselves in a position to be harmed by someone who wishes us ill. Our heartfelt hope and desire is that all will grow spiritually, embracing the path of peace and comprehending serenity, unfortunately not everyone will and the truth of change and growth is the desire must come from within. So release them with love and remember the old Scottish (James Kelly) proverb: “He that deceives me once; shame fall him; if he deceives me twice, shame fall me.” So trust in God, but cut the cards.

Not My Hat

We have all done it and regretted it afterwards. We are either drawn into or feel the need to volunteer our help or opinion in someone else’s situation. It may be a simple neighbor dispute, child rearing issues, a family squabble, work place issue or the worst possible case, a crisis of romance. What generally happens? The party we were attempting to “help” uses our support to bolster their position, but then they reconcile, and that well intended shoulder comes back to haunt us, our words of  “comfort” often putting us on the outs with both parties!

“Do not wear another man’s hat” was salient advice given early in the last century. Simply, we do not engage in gossip, seemingly well-intended little character assassinations or take sides when family, romance or the heart is involved. When we do we don the “other man’s hat” and pay accordingly. Our course is simple but not easy, in prayer we invoke love for all involved, leaving their judgment to a Power Greater than Ourselves, seeking only to be of service without being negative, being supportive but keeping our opinions close to the vest, between ourselves and God. This will take time and practice to become a working part of the mind but it is the path that provides serenity and will help us to avoid those hard looks and cold shoulders in the break room, over the holiday dinner table or backyard fence.