Recipe For Failure

Be sanctimonious. Pride yourself on being the perpetual devil’s advocate; always pointing out why something will never work, reveling in the potential pitfalls. Be sure to inject yourself into every conversation, whether invited or not, because you are providing an invaluable service. Develop your genius for predicting the worst at every turn. Have no real focus in life. Spend your time gossiping whether in person or by endless blogging and texting about meaningless things, never missing an opportunity to point out the negative. Watch reality TV religiously and become emotionally involved with the fake narrative. Trust in blind luck, every failure affirming the belief that life really is a crap shoot, and you just are unlucky. Always think of yourself first and never be of service to anyone unless there is something in it for you. And by all means never step out in faith, or trust in God and never ask for His help and guidance.