Be sanctimonious. Pride yourself on being the perpetual devil’s
advocate; always pointing out why something will never work, reveling in
the potential pitfalls. Be sure to inject yourself into every
conversation whether invited or not because you are providing an
invaluable service. Develop your genius for predicting the worst at
every turn. Have no focus in life. Spend your time gossiping whether in
person or by endless blogging and texting about meaningless things,
never missing an opportunity to point out the negative. Watch reality TV
religiously and become emotionally involved. Trust in blind luck, your every
failure or others success affirming your belief that life really is a crap shoot, and you
just are unlucky. And by all means never pray or step out in faith, trusting in
God, seeking His help and guidance.
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