Watch for trends and as soon as a new one starts, jump on
board. It doesn’t matter whether or not the trend appeals to you, just
that you follow it as soon as possible, since you must be on the cutting
edge. Be the first to read the latest self help book and waste no time
in telling everyone how life changing it is, of course always with an
ear to the ground for the next book. Be sure to belittle and
condescending to those who don’t share your beliefs, even if you aren’t
sure what they are this week, since you know in your heart of hearts
that they really are against you and will pull you down if given the
chance. Become a master of the backhanded compliment, point out the
faults of absent “friends” or anyone you perceive as more successful
than you since your wit demands it be shared and appreciated. Always
have the answer, never mind those pesky details or facts. And above all
crow endlessly on your ability to always get the best price. Let your
pride shine brightly when recounting how you always get the best deal,
how you are a master of the cheap. Keep up appearances at all costs,
standing proudly on your dignity because clearly you are the master of
your life, having all the answers, no spiritual assistance needed or required.
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